End is near

by jon laa on December 24th, 2011

And so the year is ending.

And so disappointed of sorts came and went.

Then I realised the coming year is new indeed.

Then I realised, I don’t give a shit about christmas.

And I hate people who make me care about their birthdays, especially when I didn’t.

The waiting game of Faith

by jon laa on December 5th, 2011

And so I totally freaked out, really.

Waiting, still waiting.

On the optimistic side, my application is still at where I want it to be. I wonder what’s going to take them to decide. And hell, they’ve to decide by wednesday - methinks.

Uh, omgoodnessgraciousme.

I need to apologise more

by jon laa on December 3rd, 2011

That’s because I am that self-righteous.

But it’s going to take a lot more to show people I am actually sorry.

Every word counts

by jon laa on November 28th, 2011

Every entry on this blog can be used to test how much a person knows me.

And now I am just feeling all warm and fuzzy over love, self-sacrifical love in the plot of american dramas.

O Zittre nicht

by jon laa on November 25th, 2011

The best aria ever.

Faith, faithless

by jon laa on November 22nd, 2011

There’s always this idea that faith and emotions cloud judgement.

But doesn’t faith translate to hope, especially when it’s unexplained.

Okay, so do people with faith make better or worse physicians? Uh, yes, this involves stereotyping.

Ultimate undeserving

by jon laa on November 18th, 2011

To begin with, medicine school or veterinary school is not what I deserve. It was never what I am entitled to. I was never smart, that damn smart, to deserve a place there.

Now, why am I complaining?

For the past half a year, I’ve been seeing what I will never have in my entire life unfolding in my face. And now what I want is more, as if I deserve it, as if I am entitled to it.

He says he will want to be at the top of the career ladder. Because after studying so hard, he wants to be able to get good money out of it, a good life.

God, what I want is love, fulfilment. To have enough to provide for others, myself. To live my life.

For fuck’s sake

by jon laa on November 18th, 2011

I am not your father or your mother.

You may come from a family, or wheresoever, whereby people make decisions for you. I am not the person.

Does it look like I am responsible for your decision-making or do I look like I care?

And stop asking me questions I cannot answer for you.

Morbid thought

by jon laa on November 15th, 2011

I know it will come a time when I will legally kill some one and be happy about it, because it is then I know I have levelled up.

Being self

by jon laa on November 15th, 2011

I am quite sure I’d be quite upset if I am to make dinner for friends who have plans afterwards with some one whom I am not entirely close to.

At the end of the day, I don’t want to feel dispensable or disposable. If I made time, I’d like to think I deserve an evening.

Likewise, it’s against my principles to actually agree to dinner with a person then agree with another person for plans after dinner.

Look, it’s not just about me/us. Others have feelings too.