On other issues

jon laa wrote on February 11th, 2010, 11:55 am

Going to get a cup of water before I get back to writing. It’s been a while since I last drank and I can feel the thirst. And I think the lack of water intake is causing me some kind of writing block - damn it!

Back.

I don’t really think it is polite for people to be stepping on my slippers, especially if they have their slippers on. Look, my bare feet is going to be placed on where you rested your filthy footwear.

Then going to put your feet on the edge of my bed and rubbing them against each other completely put me off.

I may have agreed to wake you up but getting you out of bed is not my responsibility - you should know that.

Bleah!

And there is actually this person who expected me to call him on his mobile each time somebody yells for him from downstairs.

If I could hear it loud and hear, you should hear something if not the entire message. Then please stick your ears out. If you can’t, move yourself along with them.

This is the reason why I don’t like what I am currently doing, I feel. The company is less than ideal, really. Most people here are pretty much selfish and strange, maybe different is an more appropriate word.

I didn’t have that problem in that outcast island when I was still there. Everybody was awesome, except for this one person who seem to dislike me. Everywhere I go, somebody dislikes me. I’m used to it. Even with him, I enjoyed myself very much.

My current roommates and the-one-next-door-who-comes-for-fan-services is pretty awesome too, I feel. Maybe I had my reservations about one or two of them previously but they have become history. I enjoy their company now, I’m positive of it.

Been going shopping a lot on their behalf. Like heading to the supermarket just to purchase whatever they would like to have for the day/week. And I completely don’t mind doing it. I know they will appreciate it and I know they don’t ask out of their selfishness. Of course they are disappointed each time I come back missing an item.

It is okay if you don’t thank me, I don’t mind. May be better in fact, better than those who profusely thank me without meaning anything close to it. Detestable.

That’s about what my typical week is like.

And friends are complicated creatures. There are times I’d rather go without them.

I told the counselor the other day I didn’t have a concept of friends until, perhaps, secondary school. And she told me it was normal - children tend not to have them. But I realised it wasn’t just the concept of friends, like the word/definition/label itself. There was nobody I identified with.

There were people I spoke to but I don’t think we share any form of relationship at all. Back then, conversations were a way to either tell others my unhappiness or tell others who I am. It was not communication, definitely not. And it was so until upper secondary.

I don’t even think I spoke to anybody in particular in lower secondary. I probably talked rubbish to all of them.

If you haven’t already realised, engaging in conversations without actually being involved in it is my forte. I guess I just talk because it is normal to. It distracts people from trying to figure out who I am.

It removes potential excessive attention away from me.

Damn it.