In bed with blackberry

jon laa wrote on March 5th, 2010, 11:02 pm

There are too many things I don’t know.

May be a good thing, or maybe not.

I hate it when people ask me questions, I hate it when I don’t have an answer. I hate it when I don’t have reasons.

And I never understood why we need reasons.

There are times I do things to please others. Like how, at this very point in time as I lay on my bed, I think of what I can do to help a colleague feel better. Then when I ask myself why, why do I even care/bother, I don’t have an answer.

Of course there are times when I have answer to the same question.

“Because I love him/her.”

And it seems that’s all I need to know. It doesn’t matter if he/she doesn’t love me. I don’t need/have to justify myself to love some one, thankfully. But it would be better if I don’t have to justify such gestures.

I don’t always have a justification, you know?

I’ve three bottles of hoegarden lying on top of my shelf. They’re for shan and they’ve been there since sep. I just gave the chop stick set, prawn paste, fish sauce plus tee shirt to sn, even though I bought them as long ago.

There are tees for mok and elaine but I doubt I’ll see them ever again.

I wondered why I didn’t bring back anything for farouche. It was more like I thought I had another opportunity to get that particular tee shirt for her but it turns out that it was the last time I ever saw it. I don’t know if I regret.

It completely sucks when everybody seems to be taking turns to bid their farewells as we grow. No, I don’t blame them. I wish I could stay but I know I would do the same at any given opportunity. It sucks to realise you’re left alone.

And when that happens, the idea of going somewhere completely foreign to start your life anew seems very appealing. To make friends you know will not kiss your ass goodbye - whatever that means.

I think that is why we are all sinking into our world own of yesterday. It isn’t economical to invest time and emotions in a person who may not be around in the immediate future.

I think we’re a lost generation who lost the art of friends-making.

Look, I’m never sure. iThink.

By the way, iThink it is my fault you all left. I could have done much better. Thanks for being part of my friend-making trial. I’ll see if I can raise enough funds to bring my project to europe, and see if I’ll get any positive results out of the test involving european specimen.