Back home at midweek

jon laa wrote on February 3rd, 2010, 10:42 pm

Back home and I’ll have to be back tomorrow for another two days before I get back again. It isn’t a bad deal, really.

Then next week should really really hectic in a pleasant way, like appointment-intensive.

I’ve been penning many thoughts in my head and it’s a pity I never want to write them down. I suppose I should be writing them down, there are people who deserve to know. But at the end of the day, I can’t come to terms with what they are. I’m pressing on to the hope that it’ll all come to pass away and I wouldn’t have to deal with it any longer.

Too optimistic, sometimes. Never woke up to a better day, never. And it seems that those lies I told myself yesterday didn’t quite work out, it’s still the same shit.

:)

Been seeing people - just two actually - doodling on public transportation and it’s kinda encouraging to know there are people who take effort to put their inspirations-for-the-moment into potential everlasting art works. Feels, um, different.

The books arrived and reading it has been pretty enlightening I suppose. Like conflicting school of thoughts and having to process and understand them. I’m sure they’re all bias sources but I’ve already decided what I want to adhere to anyways. Gonna try to work something out, I hope. It’s quite strange how I naively thought it’s possible that every conflicting school of thought can somewhat come together to form some kind of unique synthesis. Like using the pros of each to build a picture perfect. Damn wrong I was.

And surprisingly, the book kinda answered the question I didn’t have an answer to. Decisions that are difficult to make is somewhat made easy to make. Brilliant. And these reference books are amazing, pity there aren’t more of them around - plenty are already out of print.

Bb was in store today. Extremely strange, really. I didn’t expect it to come that easily and I didn’t imagine myself having one that readily. I need to work harder I suppose. Feels like I should go back to vocalises all over again and drop all the pieces for the time being. No, I need to allocate more time to vocalises than whatever pieces I’m doing. I feel like I’m developing but I feel that it’d make more sense if I put in some effort to beautify every note through my range.

:)