Unfortunately or not

by jon laa on April 28th, 2010

I’m damn good at brain-fucking and I’m too anal.

Good luck, I can’t decide who needs it more.

Unkept promises

by jon laa on April 27th, 2010

I don’t think it’s exactly a new thing. Like people who agreed to do whatsoever after lunch. One thing I realised is that people no longer give us deadlines, they give us a time to which they may start work. Of course after lunch could very well mean the end of next year - no?

But let’s face it, they don’t get it done.

Then while you take some initiative to attempt some work for them and to update them of the progress, it suddenly become my responsibility to follow up and get everything done.

Like, fuck.

It’s not so much of whether I mind or not but the lack of responsibility and I don’t know what.

Looking beyond this, there are still other encounters like unreturned borrowed items - sheer irresponsibility.

But work for a superior never fails to be done with no less than three degrees enthusiasm.

I know, this is life right?

Magazine subscription

by jon laa on April 26th, 2010

It’s damn tempting to be signing up for one magazine or another, especially when it’s on promotion. Doesn’t matter I like it or not, I’m sure I’ll read it eventually. Furthermore, they are some what educational and good for general knowledge.

It’s only about $2 per issue!

Been thinking and decided against it. The money could have been used elsewhere after all. Magazines, regardless of its purpose, is an indulgence.

Urgh, so it’s monday morning again. I’m contemplating to call up the specialist for a private consultation instead of a subsidized one. There’s no doubt things are getting better and I’m sure I don’t want to wreak it just like that, really.

And you know, shit is going to happen once the harvest ends and sowing begins again. Damn!

More another day, shall sleep in subway.

Making money

by jon laa on April 25th, 2010

I think there are things I’m born with/into which I don’t have to lust for the way some people do. I can tell some people are sore they don’t get as large a size of cake out of life the way some people do. I don’t know if I’m like that at all but I’d think not for now.

They aren’t insecure people though. They are people who strive and strife to put themselves on pile with others by choosing the most potentially money-promising academic route to a most certainly money-making career - le sigh.

It’s nice, however, to know they have a plan and they know what they want out of life. Given they’re commited to it and they find such unparalled gratification through it, I don’t think we could say they are shallow.

They made their desires of life their passion.

They pride themselves upon it.

And they’re more happier than I am lor.

:)

I wish I’m like that too. For the least, then, life will be as meaning as I can ever imagined to be.

/cough cough

Overpromising, underdelivering

by jon laa on April 25th, 2010

I shouldn’t have agreed at all, really. But when I did, I was available. It was supposed to be all fair and dandy, good and well. Like we all know, life is full of shit.

Being more real probably means denying God and creating an excuse-less realm. Probably also means feeling less about seemingly insignificant things and being more rational, materialistic in the looking at what is material dimension.

And so, life being full of shit is an excuse. There is no reason for that bit of irresponsibility, it was my fault. It has nothing to do be a predestination so I would sit here in a religious venue now - every one knows my presence wouldn’t make a difference to me or the divine one/three involved.

Makes a difference to my folks though, they’d think I’m still holding on to the hope of a divine, perfect, timeless hope which I don’t know if I’m holding on to or ever did.

Like, trusting in God makes things too difficult. Like having no direct control. Like being perplex by the absence of logic. Like having to deal with depression for undone to-be-done. Like shit.

For myself to feel better, I should have gone to help my friend like I somewhat agreed - not promised though. But I think we make promises so often agreements are too different from promises, my sentiment.

But I’m lazy. But I was trying to get things done. But I’m working. But there’s not enough time. Because I’m irresponsible.

I think it’s evident I need help. Divine intervention would be good. Urgh, but acknowledging I need help and seeking for help or accepting one is a different story altogether.

Let’s meet in eternal glory, shall we not?

Be thankful I’m not a dutch.

Making delicious food

by jon laa on April 22nd, 2010

I know I’ll definitely lose recipes found in magazines, and so I’m going to write them down here for easy access.

Pasta con le sarde (pasta with sardines)

100ml extra virgin olive oil
100g sardine fillets, chopped
2 tbsp chopped fennel leaves, divided
4 anchovy fillets, chopped
50g onions, peeled and chopped
1 tbsp dark raisins
5g saffron threads, softened in 10ml of hot water
400g bucatini pasta
50g garlic breadcrumbs, roasted
1 tsp pine nuts

Heat the extra virgin oil in a sauté pan and sauté the chopped sardines, one tablespoon of chopped fennel leaves, chopped anchovies and chopped onions until fragrant. Add in dark raisins and softened saffron threads and mix well.

cook the remaining chopped fennel leaves in a pot of salted water. Add in the bucatini pasta and cooked for about 7 minutes. Drain well. Toss the cooked bucatini pasta with the sardine mixture and sprinkle with roasted garlic breadcrumbs and pine nuts. Serves 4.

Double chocolate peanut butter cookies

500g flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
180g dark brown sugar
180g granulated sugar
250g unsalted butter
250g creamy peanut butter
2 whole eggs, lightly beaten
2 tsp vanilla extract
340g milk chocolate chips
170 semi-sweet chocolate, roughly chopped, melted and cooled
30 whole peanuts, shelled

Mix the flour, baking soda and salt in a mixing bowl. Set aside. cream the dark brown sugar, granulated sugar and unsalted butter in another mixing bowl until creamy. Add in the creamy peanut butter and whisk until smooth. Add in the creamy peanut butter and whisk until smooth. Add in the beaten eggs and vanilla extract and continue whisking until well incorporated. Fold in the flour mixture and milk chocolate chips until no streaks of flour are visible. Add in the melted semi-sweet chocolate and stir with a wooden spoon to achieve a marble effect.

Place 3 tablespoons of dough onto a parchment-lined baking tray. Top each cookie with a whole peanut. Bake in a preheated oven at 150°C until just set but still soft, for about 23 minutes. Remove the cookies from oven and set aside to cool before serving. Makes 24 cookies.

The awesome colleagues

by jon laa on April 21st, 2010

There are some really nice people around. People who honestly cares, people who are slightly weird, people who are individualistic. I think they’re kinda like the trustworthy people? They stick to their beliefs at all cost and they aren’t really bothered by what people think of them/do to them as long as they are answerable to themselves.

Now, where do we find such people now?

Damn sucky life

by jon laa on April 19th, 2010

Okay, we are back in reality. It’s somewhat awesome.

I really think some people are receiving more credits than what they deserve. It’s a lot of how people like you on the outside, I think. Uh, first impression, looks, mannerism, speech?

Urgh.

And so people like us suffer in silence, I think.

:)

Leadership is always such a sensitive issue. It’s so hard to determine how much trust to have and how much fear to instill. But the only way to get results is obviously when there’s respect or when one managed to win the hearts and minds of their subordinates. I don’t think there’s any other way to “good” leadership.

Maybe giving subordinates a sense of purpose and a reason for their day-to-day activities will be good. I don’t think there’s any when working hours are long and pay is miserable, such a backward structure/organisation.

Don’t people learn from history?

Even if not, they should understand what is paid determines what you get.

Of course the “price” the subordinates pay may determine bonuses and/or privileges, but these people do not need what you have to offer - no?

Too often people don’t give any more than the bare minimum because there isn’t a reason to. The bonuses/rewards that come aren’t enticing enough, people rather not care.

Urgh.

I’m so tired of the false meritocracy. There isn’t an absolute measurement for merit people, face it.

Ticking oven

by jon laa on April 17th, 2010

I can hear the oven ticking away from where I am. It feels damn awesome to know that the macarons turned out to taste damn awesome! Looks funky though, totally irregularly and unconventional.

Brought a camera, yes I actually brought it here, but realised it’s flat. Oops. Maybe it’s a sign - no pictures then. It’s my third product from the kitchenaid.

The whisking is, like, amazing - totally kick-ass. Please come and visit my kitchenaid in action, if ever you have the chance.

I think I’m pleasantly surprised because my macarons have feet! And they’re pretty much edible and all. They are irregular so it’s impossible to put any filling. I think I need to practise a lot more before they will look perfect. And I think I can manage to make a batch for those colleagues of mine who just returned from rural land. I think I can manage la. But for starters, we need more aged eggs. That’s damn gross actually.

Okay.

I should get down to cutting baking sheets. I bought a whole roll but I don’t have the patience to tear them out nicely. They end up being terribly torn and I end up using two sheets for one batch, which is a bad idea. Because I only have one baking tray and I wouldn’t know how much of each sheet to fill. I just filled up more I should so I tore the filled sheet smaller so it could fit with the other sheet. Tsk! More work because of my laziness.

Probably gonna be a while more before the second batch of macarons can leave the oven. I’ll spend some time to slide the third batch around. I think sliding help them get into a more consistent shape. And I need to cut baking sheets then wash up and sleep and go kayak tomorrow. I’ll do more making tomorrow and I honestly hope I can get nice pairs so I can put some filling inside. Then I can experiment with chocolate ones and I can surprise my friends with them!

Early morning rambling

by jon laa on April 16th, 2010

:/

I don’t really know what I ought to be saying or what I can actually say out here in a public domain. I’d think self-censorship completely defeats the whole point of writing sometimes.

There are really cool people around. But there are some cool, skilled - not talented - people who aren’t productive. Pfft. Like people who do half-fuck jobs, who aren’t responsible, who wouldn’t listen or care about others’ opinion.

The world revolves around them, so they believe.

And they’re pinned on making their delusion a reality.

I can’t imagine how much pain that is. I can’t remember anybody who nonchalantly ignored violent objections.

:/

Enough of bitching for this morning. The new ad hoc at home is here and I can’t wait to collect it from sn. I think they should have some decent pie crust recipe, something my mum asked for the other day. I’m 10x more excited about their pizza bases though. They’re more vesatile a dough.

Okay.

And I think I wanna get a cookbook on macarons too. Is there a recipe for it in ad hoc, sn?

Bad days.