Uncle clutch

by jon laa on January 3rd, 2010

Okay. I bought a really old-school, uncle-ish clutch from braun buffel. Everybody is probably going to tell me how being branded doesn’t remedy it from being a fashion disaster of sorts. Boo hoo!

Either way, I fell in love with it once I saw it alright? It was the delicious brown leather I fell in love with but I couldn’t find it around orchard and ended up with the black one. There were really other more fanciful ones which I’ll probably buy because it looks damn cool. But they were either too expensive or didn’t have the colour that I wanted, so there. Nearly bought one of the more fanciful ones from bonia but I figured I don’t need something that loud.

I’d think it’s a fairly rational purchase. Didn’t get obsessed over it. Put everything I wanted in it inside and left it alone. Gonna throw it into my tote and going off with it. It’s kinda perfect in size, like everything I want to be inside managed to fit in. I would have added a book but there wasn’t enough space for comfort so never mind, I threw the book out.

The above three paragraphs are written to convince myself it wasn’t a bad purchase. And to convince others, perhaps.

:)

I think I am gonna meet somebody, whoever it may be, after work ends at the end of the week so I could go straight to mustafa and grab a mattress. I need to get things going. The current place is like totally choked with stuff that I need to move some away. And I have no motivation to move anything if I know I am not going to stay there. And I wouldn’t stay there if there isn’t a mattress. Thus, I need to buy one.

Make sense?

Bought a moleskin too. I’m gonna to write down every cent I spent and everybody I met for the coming year. I’m going to try to. I think it’d be nice to see where my money goes and it’ll probably be nice to see what kind of social life I have. Then I think I’ll be able to do a more constructive evaluation of how the year 2010 went.

By the way, I am trying to get God back into my life. There isn’t time for skepticism already. LOL! I figured I am not getting to where I’d want to go myself so investing some time in God may actually help me get where I want to. It’s kinda superficial, I know. But I know God knows better, like how everything work. The whole complexity of the situation and whatever not.

I actually have a bible in my room and I actually did read some portions of it through in the beginning. But everything just kinda boiled over, I grew exceedingly dishearten and shit happens.

Everything in life can be rationalised only because shit happens.

Now the plan is to note down the days I actually pray and read the bible, the latter being somewhat optional. The bible really feels like some self-help book at some point in time but it’s really long-winded so by the time you’ve read a substantial amount, everything just kinda doesn’t make sense anymore - either you’ve missed the point or forgot what you’ve read. It’s really complicated.

Now pray for me, fellow sinners. I really don’t want to end up no where in life. I can never imagine myself being a failure - I know I wouldn’t let myself become one - but the impending uncertainty and thought of a higher power just completely doesn’t help. Unless I find favour in both, of course.

Didn’t sing any pieces today, awesome. Did descending scales. It worked out better. Managed to work on vowels like ‘u’ and ‘i’, which I completely suck at. Need to find more balance, seriously. G major still floats my boat, for now. I’m still trying to fix things out.

Gonna go off now. Enough of word-churning. Gotta cut my nails too - such trouble.

Good night people. And enjoy the supposedly last three years of human civilisation.

Broken connections

by jon laa on January 2nd, 2010

It’s really upsetting to hear people saying, “I’m starting to hate him.”

Boys afternoon out was almost a complete disaster. There wasn’t a direction, motivation, destination, plan, which is disastrous by the standard of non-spontaneous people. The end result was that we completely ditched the dude who needed company and went our own way entertaining ourselves while the poor dude followed behind. By the way, there were only three of us.

I suppose we’re all different people and it’s really difficult to get frequencies to meet. Meh! The different backgrounds and whatever not. Of course there are some who deal with it better, who can identify with a more varied spectrum of people.

:)

And shopping is damn personal. Like varying opinions and whatever not. It takes awesome, crazy people to have fun. Probably takes a few trips out before we warm up to each other style and preferences before we know what to do and how to react. Pfft. It was much more constructive when I did my shopping myself.

The downside is that I found something I’d really like to get.

:)

I really need a project of sorts. Like, something to work on about myself. I thought I’d do a photo log of the entire year but it doesn’t help that some people don’t like taking pictures and it doesn’t help that I can’t bring myself to ask some people for a picture. I’ll still attempt to keep it going though. It’s good training of self-confidence, so I believe.

Didn’t sing much today. I was attempting to work no vocalises only - like vowels. But I realised I should be working more on descending scales than on the tricky passaggio region. Damn it, I should have realised already.

And so tomorrow will be my last day to work on it. I think I’ll really want to iron on my confused notes real fast. Guess it’s not going to happen anytime soon though.

Gotta be back early tomorrow, sucks. Back to no internet days. Meh!

By the way, having no preferences, ideals and opinions is pretty annoying. I don’t think we actually not have one but we attempt to not have one. And what’s even more annoying is that we can’t work things out democratically because there’s no basis for any sort of rationalism. My goodness. It’s also probably going to be your loss, you gotta put it up with all the shit people throw at you. I’m sorry dude.

Delayed gratification

by jon laa on January 1st, 2010

There are probably some good movies out there I haven’t watched through because I couldn’t bring myself to sit through it. Of course that only applies to films I watch off the laptop screen. I wouldn’t forfeit my movie ticket fee just like that.

There were long dreary movies I regretted sitting through, like the one I caught with miao. It was just sheer disappointment, especially when we sat through it hoping for some sort of twist and change in plot to make a difference. That was a waste of time and money.

The hangover, one of the films I was already to give up on, turned out to be really awesome. Didn’t regret sitting through it (though not in a single setting). It was almost blatant, superficial, flat humour but everything started to change when the plot started to piece up together. It was very yummy, couldn’t describe it further. Go catch it if you can.

Gah.

I probably need to take a step back and learn to enjoy comedy. I realised I never quite enjoyed them. Like they are mostly somewhat too seemingly shallow for my liking. It could be more of that I never quite have the patience to wait for the building up and whatever not. And most importantly, there’re so many trash comedies out there that has totally spoilt my appetite for it. Boo hoo!

Nothing really worked out today. I didn’t run through concone like I planned to. I’m starting to see glimpse of what people meant by keeping it small and delicate through the passaggio before opening up again after going past it. I’ve been trying to sing through my entire range in a single take and it really takes some sort of alternation in placement, or whatever it is, to even out the voice. It’s beautiful, molto bella.

Figured dalla sua pace worked perfect, or seeming perfect, because of its high notes. I wouldn’t get anything out of my pathetic voice if I pushed at all. But working on other pieces, that seems more manageable, like se tu m’ami gives me more opportunity to press and sit on my my already pathetic voice. I’m trying to fix it though, it’s all in the mind. The good thing is, I realised.

Gonna attempt to take it down a few notches tomorrow. It’s really difficult because most of the notes lie within the transition between registers. I wish I have better control over it and better understanding of how my voice works. Gah!

More work, more work.

On the bright side, I’ve been getting a hang of coping with a fatigue voice. I can’t decide if it’s my vocal cords that are tired out or is it that I’m developing the necessary muscles for me to sing. It could be either. But what really pleases me is that I can still speak and reach to the bottom notes fine - that’s in many ways a great pleasure.

:)

By the way, I figured I may be thinning my voice out too much for dalla sua pace. Obviously it sounded fine besides being a little small and light. But I don’t think that’s at all healthy? It’ll probably come a point in time when I’ll hit a dead end again. Better start taking note of myself and better not attempt to go too high and shallow myself out too much.

Find balance, find control.

And so I did not party and did not drink, not yet at least. Pretty well done there.