Unsettling

carrie wrote on July 14th, 2009, 11:17 pm

It’s utterly disturbing to realise I prefer rural living compared to an urban life. I also realise I rather live my life in a strange, foreign land where nobody knows me and vice versa.

Maybe it creates an illusion of a new beginning. Nonetheless, the truth remains that we’re part of our past and nothing will ever completely eradicate our living to date.

I wouldn’t say I’m excited to return. I’m sure things would be different from where I left off. It’s a pity I wasn’t allowed to—maybe I was—stay on to continue our forging of a partially new beginning. Bet there would be changes, new adaptations and new expectations. There’s an unexplained fear of being left behind and being left out. This isn’t a good start to the development of a social unit and to the rest of my much cherished islander life, le sigh.

In the days to come, from grace to grace, let me establish that there’s a hope far greater and a much more desirable tomorrow to anticipate. Gah. Don’t we all hate uncertainties.