Unanswered

jon laa wrote on May 23rd, 2009, 1:13 pm

I really don’t like it when people can’t confirm any shit and will let me know again, like the day before. Because, it gets on me. And I am sure it gets on meow too, so I am not alone. I’d like to have some consistency, certainty in my life, thank you.

Unless I know you damn well, I don’t think I deserved to be put on your waiting list especially when your schedule is tentatively empty, because that is just unfair to me.

Because you are expecting me to be free/keeping that slot free for you without making any commitment yourself - selfish.

For that, I will deliberately occupy myself. I do have things to do and I will plan my life so I can achieve my certainties and consistencies, with or without you. I can’t possibly wait for you to have the items in my to-do-list struck off, it doesn’t make sense.

The above is a rant, and I am shameless about it.

Back to which, if I were to go out of my comfort zone to make arrangements for you so that you can join me for some fun I expect you to appreciate it. It doesn’t matter if you don’t thank me, because that can/may be a little too much to ask for. But if you are apathetic towards what I have done for you, then I must as well have not done it. Doesn’t make sense for me to go an extra mile to another’s benefit without being appreciated. Because, that is for you and not me. Most importantly, life goes on, with all the fun I can/will have, without you too.

Unfortunately, I am not god/God. I am neither gracious, slow-to-anger nor forgiving.

For the least, I love.

And I realised not everybody takes being loved positively. In that sense whereby they can neither love nor be loved, or in the sense they love but cannot be loved. Both of which is depressing.

Back to practice, rant again later.