Procrastination

jon laa wrote on March 28th, 2009, 5:50 pm

Been thinking about stuff like running. It feels stuck, honestly. Pretty slow, and the amount of distance I can cover is on diminuendo. I cannot explain the choice of word, like diminuendo, it comes when it comes. Going on a two week break, taking it easy. I am hoping to be able to cover 15km comfortably on the friday night runs.

Jumping is on priority now, have plans to jump for two weeks. Then perhaps do more pull ups and weights. Probably need something to balance it up, like push ups or whatever. Gym membership expires in june, I have plenty of time to go.

Did a slight calorie count and have compiled a list of food I should be eating. Like a class of milk or ovaltine provides about 150 calorie, and a digestive biscuit is about 70. Olive oil, 120 for a tablespoon. Bread is about 100 each but french toast is close to 180 per slice if butter is involved, a tablespoon of butter is also somewhat about 100 calorie.

Five-meal days are compulsory, I guess. And I figured I may wanna stock up on chicken breast so I can eat them as small meals. That can wait till next week, you are suppose to increase the calorie intake gradually. There is protein shake, which provides like 100 over calorie as well. I am going to check out weight gainers to see how many calories it contains, per serving, and see if there is any possible recipe for an equivalent of that.

In great need to go little india, sn please take note of that. On a weekday morning or afternoon. Getting some supplies from mustafa and probably also going to stock up on some sundry from tekka market. I love marketing, wouldn’t miss any opportunity to drop by a wholesale market, per se.

Dreading tuition later. Probably going to choke up two hours and get him to do some work. It is difficult to get into momentum after a long break - two weeks - and difficult to continue from where we left of. I almost have absolute interest in reading his essays, which I know will somewhat be trash. It is not always about writing a good one, but actually writing enough just so it becomes instinctive and habitual, of which he is nowhere near yet. Often it feels like a somewhat abuse of trust. Like having having parents who trust I will teach to the best of my ability but very often what I offer is the tip of what I can, which is surprisingly enough to warren distinctions and desirable grades. Perfectionist streak, perhaps.

But either way, I will rather spend my saturday evening in bed lazing around but I know the relatives will be here and I will be dying to leave home then. Going to teach is probably the perfect reason to leave house.

And there are times I wonder what kind of house I have, one where I feel my personal space does not extend beyond the room. One where the space I am suppose to call home is constantly invaded by rightful visitors. Guess what? I dropped the idea of moving already. Few more months and I will be away to the island where my personal space probably isn’t going to extend beyond my flesh.

Long entry, I am whiny and I bitch. But my heart is rooted, as much as I may fluctuate, and my work will be done. That is the difference, get it?