Neck
jon laa wrote on May 25th, 2009, 9:13 pm
Feeling ill and feeling unhappy. The dog barks non stop because she is stuck outside, because she is menstruating and you can imagine. Problem is that she didn’t menstruate that much the last time and I am still living in denial that it will be over soon (so I don’t have to do anything about it but leave the maid to clean up).
In many sense, I’m a jerk. But having a maid has its perks, like having things that you don’t want to do done. That can be in the case of cooking, vegetables washed and cut, meat thawed and marinated, dishes wash after you are done. I’ll do the glorious cooking of course and smearing the kitchen with dirt in the process, which I know doesn’t matter because it would be cleaned.
Isn’t the power of words amazing? I just made myself a jerk in two paragraphs. The best part is I don’t care if I am one. And in three paragraphs I’ve probably convinced you.
Extremely annoyed with the violin and bow, I have no idea whose fault is it. I was extremely tempted to twist the neck of the violin off, if not because I am not ready to spend money on a new one yet. And so I ended up venting with the bow, slammed it against the violin a few times and, uh, one of the few remaining horse hair fell off. Beijing 101 will be expecting my bow’s patronage.
Deleted the next few paragraphs because I think I tried too hard, which is always not a good sign.
I had something about God to say but I forgot, actually it’s something damn old but I always forgot. Maybe God wants me to forget it every time I blog so I can be saved from blasphemy. Don’t think God sues for slander or libel, which you have to say very gracious of Him because He probably will be rich if He did.
Oh yea, I wanted to say that I am quite thankful for everything I have. I had to use the word quite so that you don’t think I am absolutely thankful so that you wouldn’t think I have low expectations of life. The truth is, fortunately or not, I am absolutely contented and thankful for everything I have, and unfortunately it could be better. That will be, uh, dividends I suppose.
Like how everybody asked how I managed my exorbitant high music fees (subscription, singing, theory, violin lessons) myself and I tend to reply, “oh, God provides.” And everybody goes, “BUT HOW?” Be it christian or not, I don’t know why is that so unbelievable for christians, no I am not judging.
I remembered a somewhat similar encounter not too long ago with mr b., who paid for my meal even though he wasn’t entirely rich. To be exact, his finances are on the tight side, and I casually with a little mockery asked, “too rich is it?” To which he replied, “it’s better to give than to receive.”
Fortunately or unfortunately, I have been experiencing plenty of those. I gotta thank mr b. for that even though he is no longer part of my life. (Being a jerk and all, it’s not that surprising. Now I got a case study to back up my first three paragraphs.) If not because of him and his confidence, I wouldn’t have tried and wouldn’t have experience how, uh, “God provides”.
And so my bank account has its ups and downs, but always enough until now.
Probably means my recent splurge on a totally unnecessary expensive and geeky technology was a wrong choice. If I haven’t did splurge, I would have enough. And it didn’t help God, uh, didn’t provide this time round, which I suppose is a sign.
Of which I am not worried about, and not fretting, because God made parents and made me under-21 without income and interdependency for a reason.