Fighting

jon laa wrote on October 12th, 2009, 11:33 am

I wouldn’t know if I should just follow through or fight for myself. It’s obviously an easier way out to follow through, to do what I am told to, but it comes a point in time when there’s more to consider than just convenience.

Pretty often, I believe, we don’t trust others to spare that shade of consideration for us. Living in the 21st century means being part of a society built upon selfishness and nothing more than personal convenience, gains. Nobody spares a thought for you, at one point in time or another.

From what it seems I’m reaching the end of the lifeline. No, I am not dying yet but there’s much more to it. The pain is real, the discomfort and the yet to be investigated conditions. There’s no point having hope in the bleak, uncertain and unforeseeable future - I realised.

There’s much more to fight for than individual rights. To fight against peer pressure, fight against being accused, being misunderstood and maybe despised, I wouldn’t know. It’s tiring. There’s disbelief, there is self, there is tomorrow.

On the flip side, I do honestly want a way out. Maybe everything above is an excuse, a false justification for me to be accepted, for others to accept my possible wrongdoings. Maybe they were all fabricated by the subconscious or part of my vivid imagination.

Is this escapism or what?

Perhaps all I am looking for is a cross between sympathy and security. To be understood, loved and appreciated.