Dear Lord

jon laa wrote on January 23rd, 2009, 1:07 am

It is difficult to comprehend your works of divinity. The degree of divine intervention is perhaps most apt and appropriate, timely, yet incomprehensible.

No, I don’t think I find myself loving you more, yet. But I suppose one day I will. Like they said, “pass me not.”

I remembered my conversation with alex. They were not years in vain, there was change. There was a difference, a greater picture which was and is still incomplete. It was in plan. Nonetheless, painful.

In all, I want to thank you for re-instilling my direction in life.

And also to have been there, if not sent somebody there, to see me through the injustice and incoherence of a cosmopolitan and a highly meritocratic living.

Because like how you reassured her, I find myself seeing my choice and my chosen in a different light.

I put those senseless sacrifices into your hands, because I know you like them. Many times when I could have not cared, or could have shot yet another rebuttal, but I know you love them. Perhaps more than me. But I know they are there for a reason, and that they have to remain right at times when it may not be so. It is done, as I cannot see nor imagine, but you will.

Merely knowing I am not alone is comfort.

The night when you left me, or when I decided you should go, was incredible. And I am glad I have comes to term with it and can now, in full assurance, add it into my collection of extraordinary encounters.

Now, be not only with me. Go before.

Go before not only me, but also L.

Because you know I love him, and could give a lot more. Likewise, you love him more, and could give a lot more.

Forgive us.