Between

jon laa wrote on June 19th, 2009, 10:42 am

I never felt that I am a nice person beyond the occasional material help I dispense. Nonetheless, I never felt that I am evil enough to murder or to see somebody die before my eyes.

Because of how anal I am, I don’t think I’m in anyway a hypocrite or a deliberate liar, I also do not tell white lies though I believe that half-truths are harmless.

Most people approach me expecting myself to be honestly normal, which I am a far cry away from. Probably quite a number underestimated the power of my imagination and the ferventness I can wield to carry them out. I’d pretty much normal, really, just that it isn’t at all honest. It’s part of the facade thing that has been in fashion for some time.

In my rather short lifespan of somewhat two decades, I’ve had several who in honesty and earnestness told me, “it’s a wrong idea to …” and “I regret …” both in the context of me being undesirable.

But really you gotta be stupid to think I could remain oblivious to what wrong you have had done, that you yourself are afraid of being exposed.

Then you are definitely stupid to underestimate my observation prowess, though at its decline still pretty much lies somewhat beyond the expectations of others at large.

I’m not trying to rant here, and I am not ranting at all. My point is simple, don’t underestimate me. If you do, don’t regret.

In my rather short lifespan of somewhat two decades, I haven’t heard any who in honesty has anything good to say about me without edging on flattery. Even in situations where I did what was humanely possibly the most beautiful, I was labeled dumb.

I suppose it takes one who has seen me beyond my attempts to remain socially acceptable before one can somewhat attempt to draft the impossibilities of my living. Then it takes plenty of miscalculated risk to call me friend, though you probably still have not come to terms with what manner of man, or woman, I am.

HA!