Dumb people, or not

by jon laa on December 24th, 2009

I think it’s elitism - I can’t be sure.

But you know, it doesn’t matter.

People who tend to be exceedingly sociable on the outside tend to be rather disgusting, I’ve noticed.

I suppose we all have our dirt-bag somewhere.

Oh well, life goes on.

Back home

by jon laa on December 23rd, 2009

There are probably people who don’t take me seriously. They brush me off, think I’m trying to pull a trick on them/others. I wouldn’t know how to deal with them, especially when I expect them to provide me with more honesty.

The entire bad experience yesterday probably helped me concluded they don’t actually care.

But still, there are lovely people around. Maybe just one, depressing.

And so I got home with high fever, which has somewhat subsided. Feeling terrible still. Feeling sore all over and my throat is swelling quite a bit. Been a chore to eat and drink.

Gah.

But should be heading out tomorrow to attempt some christmas shopping. I don’t exactly feel like spending any moolah, but there’s always another day to save.

:)

Day at the beach

by jon laa on December 21st, 2009

I kinda really miss the beach. I think an animal outing at the beach will be good. It was pretty fun to see people bringing their dogs there to run about and play with water. Perfect lifestyle. The best part is that they could be residence on the island - amazing.

Played dodgeball for the first time. I’ve slow reflexes, I never did anything well. I think I can dash better than I can avoid a ball. Tsk.

The entire day wasn’t that bad but could have been better. I think we grow closer every time we hang out together. Just the two of us. I don’t think the rest of us are getting any closer, probably still some what individualistic and self-orientated.

Pity.

Pieta signore is an impossible piece.

Bad internet; slow internet

by jon laa on December 21st, 2009

Everybody around me holds a psp. I left my book at the workplace so I wouldn’t have one with me almost all the time. I’m trying to compile a reading list since I realised the library isn’t as repulsive as I thought it was.

I may not have a psp but I jolly have a netbook. I’m more than tempted to sign up for a mobile subscription so I could surf wherever I am. Pretty tempting, yea?

Besides, m1 has a good deal now - yums!

On a side note, one of my maternal cousins moved out to live with her boyfriend. I don’t know how culturally acceptable that is but hers a special case of sorts.

Uploading tons of pictures now.

And I’m gonna start sight singing again. Tsk. For the umpteen time.

Exasperated living

by jon laa on December 20th, 2009

I feel my head pulsate away.

The mother nags. The grandpa probes about.

Music remains undone.

I hear a buzz in my head.

There are times like this that I realised I need to move out. I can hardly deal with my self with others.

Fuck, really.

Bad day; bad conversations

by jon laa on December 20th, 2009

There are definitely days when I have less than ideal conversations with certain people. Bad day for them perhaps. I can’t help feeling affected by it, you know. It’s hardly constructive, nothing gets done, objectives aren’t met, no space for negotiation. The conversation ends.

Light-hearted conversations are somewhat more constructive. There’s more room for negotiation, everybody gets pleased and satisfied at the same time. It’s ideal - even if it means letting go a little.

If it’s so hard to meet up for what we used to engage in previously, then we shouldn’t meet up at all. There’s no longer time, compromise, and some kind of understanding. It was nice while we were still buddies, thanks.

Gah.

Everybody has their own ideals and they somewhat inflict theirs onto others.

Like how my dad will always drive above the speed limit until he reaches a speed camera. For him, that made sense and he took a calculated risk.

Likewise, I take calculated risks.

I don’t see running past ten in the night imposes any danger on my physical being or on my life, especially when the city lights are still on and the place isn’t entirely deserted yet. If it pleases others, I could run along the busy car-filled streets. I don’t see the point though.

Does degree of lateness equate to the level of danger? Going to work at nine in the morning is probably more dangerous than seven?

If not, you’ll probably be wiser suggesting a change in venue for my choice of sport than a change in time. Thank you.

The little impatience

by jon laa on December 18th, 2009

I don’t like it when people say anything than proceed to have an opinion. That isn’t entirely that anything after all. It doesn’t put me off enough to be considered putting me off but it doesn’t please me as well.

For tonight, and the night a few weeks back, I decided I should do completely nothing and see if any plans condense into form. Doubt it will though.

And you are right, I am not deciding. It’s not that I can’t but I wouldn’t want to bear the responsibility for making a decision. Especially when I know their agendas and mine wouldn’t meet.

It’s difficult to decide when one has an opinion and an agenda differing from mine. I know I can’t please them.

Therefore, I shall leave.

The learning journey

by jon laa on December 13th, 2009

I realised I picked up quite a bit of new stuff for the past year. It has been enriching, extremely enriching in fact.

It all started with running and being able to run a half marathon comfortably. That was pretty remarkable, I am sure there were many others who were expecting me to die or to somewhat fail. Guess it’s willpower and the power of company - I couldn’t have done it alone and I couldn’t have done it without sufficient mental strength.

And I ended up going for several races. Mizuno mount faber run was a killer and marked the end of my attendance in races. Pfft. I’m glad I managed to clear it under an hour, and I hope sundown will be a good opportunity for me to get back to do some decent running.

Met wonder people through running, of course. They ended up being the people I can turn to for help, especially in unexpected situation. And through them I was exposed to more races, which sparked off the breakthrough.

Finally managed to cycle. I wouldn’t say I can cycle given I haven’t cycled since then. But I’d say I can kayak and am managing inline skating fine. It’s pretty amazing how an adventure race actually became a learning journey for myself and some others. Picked up kayaking with calvin (we did our one-star together), jy taught me to cycle and a few of us, known as team coconut then, met up to attempt skating.

It was all good pleasure.

Later, I met hana through the two-star kayaking. It turned out that she was a runner and we have had many good conversations. Besides, we attempted dragon boating together - my first try at it - only to find out it wasn’t what we’re looking for. There was also ht who is the organiser of both kayaking courses.

Met the runners, dawn, chloe and timothy, at kbox. It was a pretty crap session though the company was awesome. I think we should meet at the tracks instead - kbox is obviously not my thing though it was my idea. It was tim’s farewell, in case you think it was my birthday thingy.

Then met sn at night. I’d think it’s been quite a while since we last hang out. Met up with her at her area for supper, more like drinks, and I skated there and back. Pretty challenging. The lights along the track were off by the time I was making my way back, the road surface isn’t even out after some pipe works. Lots of stones, small holes, mostly almost trip me except for this particular depression which sent one of my feet flying. Managed to keep myself balanced though - praise be. Good training though, I find myself having better balance on even surfaces already.

:)

Good day.

Lost for words

by jon laa on December 11th, 2009

The bitching session turned out great. I am glad I am not alone in terms of my opinion. I think the sharing of opinions between us will cause a segregation of sorts and I can imagine distinctive cliques forming soon.

And so today is my birthday. It’s such an ironic thing. Like what do people actually celebrate? Their existence for the past x number of years? Pretty shallow, in my opinion. The gifts and kindness for the day are great though. Unfortunately, I don’t think I have done anything significant enough to celebrate my existence. I don’t think my existence made a difference. I don’t think I am doing enough.

Most importantly, I think I am underachieving.

Maybe I think too highly of myself.

And so today marked the 21st year of my existence and failure, of sorts.

:)

Days without god

by jon laa on December 6th, 2009

Probably need to do more blog reading these days. Too little time to catch up with people in person. Besides, most people don’t reply text messages too. They are either cannot be bothered or were busy and subsequently forgot.

Dropped by the pub alone again and actually hopped by the club that was right behind it. It was not gratifying at all - I am sure you could have expected it. Heh. Didn’t reach home till almost 5am. There’s thus urge to stay out, to do absolutely nothing/anything but to avoid home. No idea why.

I owned a instant camera now. It’s capture shots in wide picture format, which is awesome. The thing about optical cameras is that what you see is not what you get - there’s ISO, shutter speed, whatever not to care about. And that’s probably the fun part in it as well. Guess it takes lots of experimenting - or rather substantial experimenting - before you get lovely awesome shots.

Um. I’m running late so I am going off now.