Focus

by jon laa on September 28th, 2009

The new place looks awesome, I wonder what will it be like when everything comes in. The curtains are not here yet and we’re still waiting for some furniture to come and to be removed. Gonna add more cupboards to my space and I am thinking of putting a real big mirror somewhere. The plan is to move the current wardrobe over but I’m contemplating to get a new one with mirror doors. Either way, we’ll see how it goes. I am actually fine with the current wardrobe.

The three tables I work off now are gonna part with me and I wouldn’t be replacing them - be very surprise. That’s more of space constrain than anything else.

I’ve some new space in front of the window, or behind the window depending on how you see it, which I have intentions to put things up. I’m wondering if I should get a fish tank or two - we’ll see. I really like the idea of getting a puffer fish or a small shrimp tank. Maybe a few potted plants - I don’t know what I want yet.

Besides all those, I’ve been sleeping late. That’s obviously a bad habit. I don’t know how I am going to survive next week but I figured I shouldn’t be thinking about it yet. I bet work is going to pile up and I am going to kiss my other saturday goodbye. Depressing.

On the brighter note, I hope I get to get into the flow of things and start to enjoy everything. I don’t think I am looking at excelling here, I am looking at going through the day-to-day activities and surviving yet another difficult phase.

There’s been plenty of quietness and I think I need some time to get back on things. I find myself being so distracted these days I wouldn’t know what’s good. Oh well.

I can’t wait to get back to put the new house up. I may have some better ideas on what should go into the balcony and what should go into my little extra space.

:)

By the way, the kitchen is rather lovely.

Elite

by jon laa on September 26th, 2009

It’s strange to be labelled as an elite. It’s stranger to be the most educated compared to the majority. I suppose I am put into another spectrum of the society, to be placed at the side where I’ve never seen. It’s rather interesting because everybody I know well enough are constantly fighting to be above average without putting those less educated than us into the spectrum of comparison. It’s kinda sad that we have totally excluded them from our perception of what is average, who we are.

In as much as they may be the minority of sorts, they are still a significant number la!

I found it exceeding disturbing to be compared to the others using education as a benchmark. Being questioned of my inability to perform certain technical skill while those less educated could deliver better. I don’t suppose our education put us on a single line of comparison with those poeple more educated to be on the better end. This, in my not-at-all humble opinion, is absolutely shallow.

It is only humane to not judge what manner of person one is and his capabilities or potential through his education. Got it?

Moving on, I’ve an awesome team for the next year or two. Provided I don’t fail in health again. Gah. Be back to write more later.

INTP

by jon laa on September 21st, 2009

I took the myers-briggs type indicator assessment again. In fact, I did two different quizzes online and I’m trapped between intp and intj. Both probably somewhat reflects who I am and I feel that I am transiting between intp to intj - I can’t be too sure. Either way, I think I will read all of the results to see which suits me most.

Intps:

“When INTPs feel insulted, however, they may respond with sudden, cutting criticism. After such an incident, INTPs are likely to be as bewildered as the recipient. They have broken the rules of debate and exposed their raw emotions. To INTPs, this is the crux of the problem: emotions must be dealt with logically—because improperly handled emotions, INTPs believe, can only harm.”

Intjs:

“They are often acutely aware of their own knowledge and abilities—as well as their limitations and what they don’t know (a quality that tends to distinguish them from INTPs).”

I think, think, I am seeing what I don’t know a lot clearer than before, but I would think not enough to be a intj yet. Because, there are still don’t knows that I don’t know about. Then again, if I know that there are don’t knows I don’t know about, does that mean I know or not?

Okay, enjoy yourself on this public holiday everybody.

New beginnings waiting tomorrow, I need to get a blank empty book to do some journal-ing. I figured I should do some writing in paper since I wouldn’t have much opportunity to write digitally.

Reality

by jon laa on September 20th, 2009

It’s slightly scary how scary things can suddenly look when reality strikes. I wouldn’t know how scary it would be now but the uncertainty of it all is scary. I suppose that’s part of life, the element of surprise and the unexpected.

I don’t think I am prepared for it but I suppose life goes on. There are too many unidentified and unknown variables that can make a difference, and I hope a difference they will make.

In faith, or with faith, I hope.

Mirrors

by jon laa on September 19th, 2009

I’m finally back and have yet to fully unpack. The food items are hidden in the store and I may go retrieve them later. I don’t want them to disappear themselves. The two bottles of tabasco sauce, I bought only because it’s dirt cheap, are being eyed by my aunt already. Gah! Lots of chips, which I hope nobody touches, because they are meant for kids only.

Bought tequila from duty-free store and it came with an additional bottle of margarita mix, pretty cool, and I’ve three bottles of hoe garden which I am planning to give away.

Procrastinating about unpacking. I’ve a lot of clothes, really a lot, so much that I don’t even want to look at it again especially when there’s an evident lack in wardrobe space. I can’t wait to move, I’ll probably leave those in until I finally love. Of course there are some that are meant for others, which I’ll have to unpack. Gah!

The fresh tom yam mix is probably lying in waste in the fridge. I don’t see myself cooking it anytime soon. Just last night before I board the plane, I suddenly felt like I had enough of thai food that I’m actually sick of it which probably isn’t true. And I realised I love coconut milk drinks now? It’s awesome.

Back in singapore, yes, I somewhat miss tien. It feels particularly strange to wake up to a familiar room and it’s annoying to hear the same phone ring repeatedly. The same voices that chant endlessly. Gah. I can’t wait to move out, really. And of course it feels different now that I know I am gonna be alone in my room and nobody is going to walk in in the morning to tell me we gotta get going for the day.

Pity.

Uh?

by jon laa on September 18th, 2009

It’s difficult to write what I want to write in a public space lest somebody reads it and lest somebody gets annoyed, which is really not what I intended.

Of course what I have in mind is nothing good, glamorous, and others may question why do I even want to say it. Freedom of speech, no? But I think expression is a more apt word.

Either way, I am glad he didn’t end up at the top. I feel that the bare minimum requirement to be the best, or one of the best, is to be able to look at the world from multiple perspectives. I feel that people who are quick to judge, who distinctively identify right and wrong with no shades of grey, are people who will fail to see another person’s life enough to make sense out of it. They can only pretend to understand, only through imagination, and cannot see beyond the skin.

On the other end of the spectrum, we have people who are more sincere, more embracing who tend to be a little retarded. But I wonder if they make themselves no better than the former? I doubt so. For one, they are better listeners and I will think they more earnestly try to understand rather than to earnestly pretend they understand.

Gah.

I don’t like people to tell me I am wrong. I am fine with people who feels, thinks I am inferior and make it known. That comes with some sort of confidence, maybe ego, but it demonstrates enough guts for my liking. But to tell me I am wrong for starters are bad ideas. To begin with, what is right? And is there perfection? If not, how do you get right? Maybe you have a more right, but that doesn’t make another wrong.

Less narrow people in the world, please. More people who are slow to judge, people who can host open discussions without jumping to a judgement. I really dislike it when others decide for me what is right or wrong, I’d rather they keep it to themselves. If you have to say it, add a modifier - “I think you are wrong” or “maybe you are wrong”, of which I would be less offended by.

Do not, do not, ever tell me, “then you are wrong.”

MBK

by jon laa on September 18th, 2009

It seems that bangkok revolves around mbk for most singaporeans. I’m not sure, but I do enjoy my bulk of shopping there. It seems like it’s a place where you can get almost everything. Be it original or fake, junk or not.

Bought a new bag to fit everything in and it didn’t work out so well because everything isn’t comfortably fitting in. Either way, I love the bag a lot.

Just realised today there are quite a few people I don’t have something for, which is actually quite upsetting because they are somewhat important people to me. I don’t especially buy gifts for people when I am overseas but I will buy what I feel is appropriate for others. Most of the time, people buy me the wrong things. Like, they are reminded of me when they see it but I ended up not quite being able to identify with it. I hope the same situation wouldn’t happen to any of the recipients.

If you didn’t receive anything, don’t be affected by it. HA! Because it doesn’t show anything besides that I’m too sincere to get you anything for the sake of getting you anything. And you can trust me that I buy everything I feel fits anybody.

That’s for shopping.

Tomorrow will be the last day with tien before we go back to our own lives for the next year or few years to come. I really don’t foresee myself seeing him that often in the near future with my restrictions with leaving the country. I just realised this is only my fourth trip to thailand, third since I met tien. I thought I’ve been here more often but I realised there were many cancelled trips due to the political instability. Pity.

The 8-day trip didn’t seem to fly past as quickly as how my team mate felt his leave pass by. I think it’s all in the mind, how you would choose to percieve it. It feels pretty normal to me, I feel. Like part of my life, to catch up, to take a break, part of being normal. And in some sense, I’m glad the 8-day trip felt long, at least it felt significant and felt as if it lasted long enough. I’m actually ready to go back though I can expect everything to be a total rush preparing for my new assignment.

Everything gets more exciting, I realised. I wouldn’t know what happens tomorrow but I know it’s all great as of now.

Miele

by jon laa on September 16th, 2009

Tien freaking uses miele in his kitchen! I can barely get over it. It’s rather old but it’s still a complete set. Maybe that’s why it got to the stage of being rather old without actually collapsing into pieces. If there is anything I actually want from miele, it would be a freaking oven which tien freaking has in his freaking kitchen. Goodness!

On the more depressing note, I am still coughing and having a slight headache for this morning - the headache left last morning after I took nurofen 400. Fever is gone though, thanks to nurofen 400 as well, and I’m pretty happy I will be able to clear the customs on friday without being held back as a h1n1 suspect. For the, um, fourth time?

Okay, so we’re going off to university soon because tien has an, um, examination today. Then we should be hanging around before going to night bazaar again where he will be replacing his broken bracelet while I changed my size for this particular mini top - don’t imagine.

Items still on my shopping list:

1) gigantic bag (in case packing fails)
2) 4/5 pairs of jeans
3) 4/5 shirts
4) 4/5 pairs of bermudas
5) a pair of good shoes, if any on sale.

I probably should get some nam prig pow for tom yam goong. No idea what galangal is but I think we can find that in singapore. Oh yeah, I can’t wait to brew my own tom yom goong.

Medication

by jon laa on September 16th, 2009

Did more shopping today and ate a lot more. I realised I cherish my time with tien alone a lot, maybe because we’re of the same age and maybe because we’re similar in many ways. Maybe that all adds up to why I love thailand. I don’t think there’s anybody back home who I can live with for extended period of time without going mad.

More decent shopping today. I am trying to move away from my junk tee collection though it still dominates half the baggage. I got a few plain tees and two shirts. One bermudas which is pretty ugly to look at but isn’t that bad when worn. I figured I still need to get more shirts. I am really looking at getting at least four more? Maybe three pairs of bermudas and five pair of jeans?

Dropped by tesco to look for fbt and couldn’t find anything nice - surprise surprise - they were all long and ugly, a little old school. Both of us joked around those fbt shorts singaporeans wear are too short for thais. And the tesco trip ended with loading of all kind of sauces and pastes you can ever imagine and it’s probably taking up the bulk of my baggage in weight. Gah!

Then there was an awfully unpleasant encounter at the night market. This caucasian we met at one of the stores, who is terrible fluent in chinese (cos that was what she conversed in), was repulsive. They quoted her 200 baht for a shirt and she insisted on 150, without any room for negotiation. I felt slightly upset when they gave in to her impolite demands. I don’t think she left with any word of thanks and I felt there was a terrible lack of respect towards the shopkeepers. I don’t see the point of pushing them to such great extends, there’s always the option to leave if the price is not to your liking. I don’t see why one should give unreasonable quote, rudely, then stand there expecting the world to bow at his, or in this case her, feet. Besides, what is 50 baht to her?

There’s a lot more, in my opinion, to negotiation in poorer countries like thailand. I would think that few baht, to us rather insignificant, makes a big difference to some who may struggle to feed the household and perhaps to more who are fighting to break from the vicious cycle of poverty. Taking pride in pushing for the best bargain is probably what any tourist should be most ashamed of, and justifying themselves with that tourists tend to be cheated doesn’t count because the overpriced quote was what they were willing to pay for whatever it may be.

It’s disturbing to know how backward we are, or can be, as mankind.

And maybe we should all think about how often are we motivated by greed, pride, ego instead of maximising one’s capacity when we want to achieve the extraordinary out of each other. Gah.

Blood.

by jon laa on September 14th, 2009

It’s actually really early here. I’ve been waking up early these days, I suppose it’s a good habit. But sleeping late too, which must change.

Bangkok is awesome, really. I think it’s an awesome place for retreat. There are times when I feel that I see the city in such a beautiful light only because I’m not a resident, citizen of the capital. I wonder what would it be like to stay here for extended periods of time, and I am exploring that option. Maybe six months or so will be good. I’m not sure what I can do, but that’s not one of the issues now.

My cough is better after taking the syrup to bed. It did revisit occasionally and I did take them in generous portions, which is a bad idea altogether. The phlegm is all green, with blood sometimes. I hope it isn’t anything major. I’m staying in my room now to avoid spreading it to others, I’m really afraid I pass it on to others. There’s a slight headache which doesn’t seem to go away with panadol and I was feeling feverish earlier on in the morning, I think the fever is gone by now.

I am going back to bed, like how a responsible sick person should. There’s probably a long day ahead. More water, more medicine.

More shopping, exotic ones!