Moves

by jon laa on July 4th, 2009

Is there actually a difference between remembering an unpleasant incident and bearing grudges?

The idea of forgetting somebody’s action and letting it exert absolutely no influence on oneself is naive.

I suppose I somewhat forgive and forget. No, I can’t really remember what has happened until I take a few seconds to ponder over it. But that does not mean I have forgotten the unpleasantness inflicted upon me, nor does that mean I am actually not affected by that person’s action.

Our past constitutes our present, I still believe.

Didn’t do much for the entire day but slept and youtube a lot. In fact, I think I am getting a bit of a headache from the excessive opera. Gah! The audio compilation of tenor high Cs and above are totally crazy and listening to rockwell blake for the entire evening didn’t help. I haven’t gotten past the first page of search listing even though it’s already past 9pm. I should be thankful it’s mostly rossini though, I don’t think I can take that much of verdi.

Last session of kayaking tomorrow, guess I should be there even though I’m hardly interested. Ultimately it’s a course for the piece of paper for me, I don’t think I’m ever going beyond the forward/backward paddling and occasionally changes in directions. Okay, I figured I’ll go for some rolling classes and that’s about it? Unless I can manage to do a few rolls. I don’t think I need more classes but I figured need more sessions to try it out.

Gah.

And obligatory slavery starts on thursday? I actually woke up this morning trying to recall what day it is and realise it’s my last weekend to go. Not so pleasant a thought but I wasn’t awake enough to register.

Decided to go weigh myself to check on my weight so I could blog it. Guess what? I’m 60kg. I did pee before I weigh myself, my last meal was almost three hours ago and I’m feeling hungry. Never felt better before, but I would like to be 60kg for the next few days. In fact, I may wanna up my weight a little.

Gonna take some shake, do some pull ups/push ups (oh shit, kayaking tomorrow?) and probably have some goulash with pasta.

Remind me I’m enlisting again, I’m enjoying myself too much too care. This is call being wholehearted.

Fats

by jon laa on July 3rd, 2009

Goulash looks good before I poured the olive oil in. I hope it doesn’t disappoint. Didn’t use the pot I used the last time because there are still some remnants of the charred meat. Gross, to think they were there since monday evening. I’m hoping it doesn’t burn this time round. In fact, I’m hoping it doesn’t even turn out that watery.

I figured I should have thawed the meat before marinating it for the previous attempt. Probably most of the liquid came from the frost.

Instead of using an entire lemon, I used most of a lime. Instead of using hua diao jiu, I used some red wine I randomly grabbed off the shelf last night.

Better be good.

My throat, on the downside, feels worse. Managed to run through the piece till the third page though. The fourth page has some variation which I gotta figure and the last page is somewhat a repetition of the original theme and repetition. Yay, almost done. Now I need to fetch some water. Maybe some fruit juice to boost my immunity a little. I can’t afford to lose my voice.

Finally getting a little more ready for national slavery. For the least, I’m finishing up what I ought to.

F#

by jon laa on July 3rd, 2009

Didn’t have much of a voice today. Feels thin and dry, not sure why. Maybe it’ll get better later. Did some scales and run through the first two pages before deciding I should stop.

Felt strangely hungry too. Never hungry till two in the afternoon normally.

The beef has been sitting around for two hours. I better get down to buying my tomatoes before my beef rots. Gah! More goulash for me. There’s still quite a bit of brownie left and I’m glad it’ll tide me through the week ends. Elaine’s picking up some goulash from me, I think. I’ve yet to hear from her.

And I heard this tenor that is particularly disturbing. It was a somewhat tight, constrained, screamed G. I really expect tenors, especially light voices one, to have no problems with G. Maybe my expectations are too high?

There are times when I feel less than a tenor because I can’t hit a rich glorious A. Then again, how can we let human conventions determined who I am?

Life’s an irony.

On the bright side, I love calvin the runner. Because he said, do whatever you think you want to. The ability to choose and follow what is chosen is very liberating, not that I did well.

Okay, back to tomatoes hunting.

Brownie

by jon laa on July 3rd, 2009

Caleb’s late dog is named brownie. That’s Joshua’s dog too.

And I wish dogs can eat chocolate so I can feed bailey the brownie I don’t really want to eat anymore.

Le sigh.

It’s 12:36am now. I shall go down to prefer my beef for marinating before doing some washing up. The pot I used for my goulash was so burnt at the base that you can’t exactly scrub it off.

I finally got my scores. No need to read off the pdf anymore.

Food

by jon laa on July 2nd, 2009

I really like how beef goulash taste. It’s like comfort food, especially when it’s in small manageable bits. The two-inch cubes were too much for my miserable set of teeth. Gah!

And so I’ve eaten a kilogram of beef over about three days. I think I can do better than that so I’m probably going to eat even more. I wanna fatten up before national service and I’m not anywhere near there yet, unfortunately.

Every meal I have at home comes with beef goulash now. Either as a side or mixed into the porridge, noodles or whatever not. It’s actually awesome.

Like the usual, I’m obsessed.

A F# D A F# A G F# E

Direction

by jon laa on July 2nd, 2009

Like somewhat tiring.

Like you see people dispersing.

Like I wanna sleep.

Like it is enough.

Like the world mocks.

In the mean time, there’s God.

God who knows, who makes all beautiful.

Probably feed me too, unless he want to let the world mock at what a failure my faith has made me.

In unspoken words, hope.