Grr!

by jon laa on January 5th, 2009

I think I am taken by some bug again. It sucks to be ill for the second consecutive week.

My nose is acting up and my throat seems to feel a little sore. Feeling achy all over, warm and chilly at the same time.

Oh. My. Goodness.

Power

by jon laa on January 5th, 2009

There is no need for a confirmation of the existence of friendship when one can make you laugh or smile against your will, even if it is an unpleasantness directed at you.

I am secretly enjoying the helplessness I have to face in the power of love.

Now, I do have friends alright?

Figaro!

by jon laa on January 4th, 2009

There are times when you want to write but the appropriate words don’t come as naturally as they should. Everything sounds bad and terribly out of style.

But whatever it is, I love mozart’s figaro and I love erwin schrott singing in it.

Mariella devia was good to me too. I couldn’t tell that she was in her 50s from the youtube videos though paul could. And I will like to think that she was good given she was still singing in opera houses in her 50s.

Moving on from all that, I bruised my knee over lunch when I knocked it against the table. Not very pleasant. It hurts in a weird way. Managed to run and it wasn’t that bad although it wasn’t ideal either. I need to buff up on my willpower and to have some faith in my running ability.

Tsk, tsk. The weekends are ending!

There is something therapeutic about exercising too. I should try to sing after exercising and I may actually sound better.

Dissatisfaction

by jon laa on January 3rd, 2009

There is always a downside to falling sick and skipping singing class. I shan’t be engulfed in self-pity or whine or bitch about it. I suppose there is something to be learnt and I suppose going for lesson in a bad but singable voice is better than to miss. Maybe I should schedule another lesson this week to redeem myself.

Madamina, il catalogo è questo is pretty.

It is not so much of skipping a lesson that is that dramatic but when the possibility of straying away from what is right unfolds itself, it is rather unpleasant.

Feeling highly unhappy with myself and I need to get a grip over my emotions. Like not being prepared for what I am scheduled for because it slipped my mind is just creating a lot of unnecessary stress. The autistic self in me is acting up and it makes life a little dysfunctional and bleak. I absolutely detest it.

But breaking out of it is not that easy lor.

There are all sorts of plans and ideals that I have in my head waiting to be executed. And if they don’t get to be executed as I have planned them to be, I am completely thrown off my sanity. It takes quite a lot for me to pick them up from where it last strayed away and it is still difficult for me even at a-fifth-of-a-century old.

And I honestly believe my inability to bring my emotions under control is hindering my vocal progress. Even my teacher believes I need to learn to be calm.

Feeling much better now. I will like to believe that writing is therapeutic.

Filling

by jon laa on January 3rd, 2009

The change of heart can be quite scary but I cannot be bothered about it. Because at the end of the day, I know I loved and that I love. I am guilt-free.

Of course there are people whom I once loved and love no longer. It is a blessing in disguise. Breaking free from me almost warren a brighter future ahead and I am sure they are doing, or can be doing, better without me in their lives.

Bryn terfel is on my playlist today and it is quite amazing that I am enjoying baritone voices. I always felt they sound like they are singing the same notes over and over again with little excitement. No, not very true. I have a stronger liking for baritone arias than tenor arias now, which is rather extraordinarily weird for a tenor. Either way, I love don giovanni leporello in don giovanni. And I only started to love him after watching a clip of erwin schrott talking about his role in the opera. I guess knowledge does enhance enjoyment.

I am still thinking of a camera. Been reading several forums and have dropped a few enquiries about unused secondhand compact digital camera.

Evil.

// the weekend has begun!

Desire

by jon laa on January 2nd, 2009

Purchased a pair of roller blades, not too long ago, which can serve as a birthday/christmas present to myself. Now I am contemplating a digital camera when I don’t exactly have excess cash.

Of course lubitels are pretty stuff that I will die to have. But I should be looking at functionality and putting practicality in priority. Digital cameras go a longer way, I guess.

Grr!

I’ll love to have a new pair of running shoes, new earphones, etc, etc, and etc too.

Perhaps I should take comfort in the new naglene bottle and suzuki pitch pipe sitting in front of my desk and be contented with just that.

On a side note, it’s an hour and a half more to go before the weekend begins!

Interned

by jon laa on January 2nd, 2009

That is a fairly good verb to describe the situation I am in.

Nonetheless, liberation awaits.

Obsession

by jon laa on January 1st, 2009

This is my third entry for the day.

Did a 4km run and pretty much suck at it. I ought to do better. It is hard to juggle between running, working out and getting fat. There is some sort of contra-entry-effect there.

I have been repeating realising I live better alone for the past few years.

Miscellaneous

by jon laa on January 1st, 2009

Been tidying up this space for the entire day, and it doesn’t help to have a not-so-functional template.

And for some reasons, there is this spam-link that always appear in my list of links. It regenerates itself almost immediately every time I attempt to remove it. Being oh-so-annoyed, I’ve made it an invisible link so I wouldn’t have to delete it every five minutes. If you have a solution to that, please drop a response to this entry.

I am listening to erwin schrott (anna netrebko’s fiancé) and I quite like his only album. I have no particular reason for my liking, if you have a differing opinion, please share.

Moving on, I should do some reading and enjoy erwin schrott before calling it a day.

Grr! Back to work tomorrow!

Because

by jon laa on January 1st, 2009

It is always good to have an occasional new beginning. I am not sure how many of them I already had but it must be quite exciting to be blogging anew, again.

I have given up on new year resolutions, because they are never kept to and almost never made any difference in my living.

But for this year, I will like to stay a little lot more focused on my direction.

The fear of having to settle for something less isn’t ideal and is a pretty perpetual fear.

Moving on, I am done with the academic aspect of my polytechnic education and I cannot wait to unleash the oppressed soul within myself.

New year greetings to all, have a blessed new year.